A letter from a reader

At 62, my winter coat made me disappear from October to March

I have never written to a shop before, and I certainly did not expect my first letter to be about a scarf.

I have had the same navy wool coat for six winters. It is warm, it is sensible, it goes with everything, and from the day the clocks go back until the daffodils come up it is all anybody sees of me. Navy coat, black trousers, black boots, grey sky. I caught sight of myself in a shop window in Newark last November and honestly thought I looked like I had been rubbed out.

I could be warm, or I could look like myself. Every winter I chose warm and quietly went grey.

I did not want a new coat. Coats are dear, and I like mine. So I just put up with it.

Then I saw one on my friend Margaret at the garden centre

Margaret was in her old black coat, the one she has had longer than I have had mine, and wrapped round her neck was the loveliest scarf I had seen in years. Blues and teals melting into purple, a soft peacock feather pattern woven all through it, and a little rainbow of tassels at each end. She looked about ten years brighter. When I asked, she said it was from Nottingham Boutique, a little boutique that has been quietly dressing women our age for a few years now. It is called the Izeya. I ordered mine that evening.

What happened at the garden centre café

I wore it the very next Saturday, looped once round my neck over the navy coat, and went to meet the girls for tea and cake. Three different women asked me about it before we had even sat down, and one of them was a lady I had never met in my life. My friend Sue said I looked like I had made an effort, which I have decided to take as a compliment.

It is a small thing, a scarf. But I had forgotten what it felt like to be noticed in the winter, and I had not realised how much I missed it.

Three things I have learned since

One. You do not need a new coat, you need something bright next to your face. The coat stays the same. One soft splash of colour at the neck and suddenly the whole outfit looks chosen rather than thrown on.

Two. A good scarf is two things at once. It is generous enough to wrap round your neck on a cold morning, and it opens out into a proper shawl over your shoulders for an evening out. I wore it like that to my brother's birthday meal and did not need a cardigan.

Three. Colour that blends is easier to wear than colour that shouts. The Izeya melts from one shade into the next, so it never looks loud. It just looks rich, and it goes with navy, black, grey and camel.

About the price

I had expected a scarf like this to cost a good deal more.

The Izeya is £24.95. It was £50.

There is no catch. They have their autumn sale on and delivery is free. It comes in the blue I chose and a warm orange, and I will admit I have one eye on the orange for my sister at Christmas.

I did go and read the reviews before I ordered. Just over three hundred of them, sitting at 4.2 stars. Not the suspiciously perfect five you see on some sites, which if I am honest made me trust it more. One woman had written, "I have worn the same black coat for years and this has made it feel like a new one. Everybody comments." That was the one that decided it for me.

What I would tell you if we were friends

If you came round and we sat out on the porch with a cup of tea, this is what I would tell you.

If your winter coat has started to feel like it is wearing you, you do not have to replace it. Keep the coat. Just give it something to be proud of.

It does not look like it was made for somebody half my age, and it does not look like I have given up either.

Caroline