A letter from a reader

At 62, I always looked scruffy in the family photos

I have never written to a shop before, and I did not expect my first letter to be about a cardigan.

My daughter put all the family photos from the last few years into an album for my birthday. It was the loveliest present, and I sat with it on my lap and quietly wanted to cry. In every single one, there I was at the back in some baggy old cardigan, the neck stretched, the front hanging open, looking like I had just come in from pegging out the washing. Everybody else looked like they had made an effort. I looked like I had been called in from the garden.

I could be comfortable, or I could look smart in the photos. I had decided that at my age I could not be both.

So I did what most of us do. I started standing at the back and letting the grandchildren go in front.

Then I saw one on my sister-in-law at a christening

Jean was in the brightest blue cardigan, with a neat little collar like a polo shirt and a row of brown buttons all done up the front. It looked smart, almost like a jacket, but she said it was as soft as anything and she had been comfy in it all day. She looked lovely in every photo, and she had not stood at the back once. She told me it was from Nottingham Boutique, a little boutique that has been quietly dressing women our age for a few years now. It is called the Senna. I ordered mine that evening.

What happened at my son's fortieth

I wore it to my son's fortieth in the garden, buttoned up over a plain white top with my cream trousers. When it came to the family photo I did not shuffle to the back. Three different women asked me about it before the cake came out, and my friend Sue told me I looked like I had made an effort, which I have decided to take as a compliment.

My daughter sent me the photo that evening. I have it on the fridge. It is the first one in years where I look like myself.

Three things I have learned since

One. A collar does all the work. A plain cardigan just hangs. A neat collar frames your face and makes the whole thing look finished, like you chose it on purpose. It is the difference between pottering about and going out.

Two. Buttons matter more than you think. A full row of buttons means you can wear it done up, so it sits neatly in photos and never flaps open, or leave it open over a top when you are pottering at home.

Three. Smart does not have to mean stiff. It is a soft knit with a relaxed, easy shape and ribbed cuffs, so it is as comfortable as any cardigan I own. It just looks better.

About the price

I had expected a cardigan like this to cost a good deal more.

The Senna is £34.95. It was £70.

There is no catch. They have their autumn sale on and delivery is free. It comes in the blue I chose, a red and an orange, from a UK 8 up to a UK 20.

I did go and read the reviews before I ordered. Just over three hundred of them, sitting at 4.2 stars. Not the suspiciously perfect five you see on some sites, which if I am honest made me trust it more. One woman had written, "I wore it for the grandchildren's school photos day and for once I did not hide behind anybody." That was the one that decided it for me.

What I would tell you if we were friends

If you came round and we sat out on the porch with a cup of tea, this is what I would tell you.

Christmas is coming, and so are the family photos. If you always end up at the back in your comfiest old cardigan, you do not have to. You just need one with a proper collar and buttons that does the work for you.

It does not look like it was made for somebody half my age, and it does not look like I have given up either.

Caroline